The Stealth Networker Blog

Networking Pet Peeves

Do you hound your connections, name drop without permission, or network indiscriminately online? Then you’re guilty of at least one of the 11 Common Network Mistakes that Bruce Byfield outlined in the IT Manager’s Journal and which VOIP-News reprinted. The other eight mistakes include:

• Badmouthing other companies and individuals
• Exaggerating connections
• Begging for a job
• Spamming requests
• Passive participation at networking Web sites
• Failing to keep up relationships
• Being disrespectful of other people’s time
• Treating networking as one-sided

The list is a great summary of why networking often gets a bad rap. We all slip sometimes, and get lazy and forget our manners, but if you’re consistently making more than one of these mistakes, you’re just not getting the whole concept. Please stop networking right away to avoid giving the rest of us a bad name.

I’m kidding. I’ve rehabilitated many a poor networker, so I know there is hope for just about everyone. What these mistakes have in common is a lack of respect. Trying to get help from others by putting your needs first. Hmm. What’s wrong with that picture?

Always imagine yourself on the other side of the networking situation and ask how you would respond to these types of actions. If it won’t sit well when you’re on the receiving end, then think of something else to do that will.

Any other networking pet peeves you’d like to add to the list?

A Network of Competitors or Collaborators?

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been working on a consulting project as part of my other company, Liz Lynch Ltd. I was brought in by a friend, another independent consultant, who sold the project and needed two other people to work with him because of the tight timeframe. He brought in a third independent consultant to round out the team.

Theoretically, all three of us are competitors. We have similar skills, backgrounds and expertise. In fact, we all worked together at one point in our careers at the same consulting firm Booz Allen & Hamilton, and two of us were classmates at Stanford Business School. In other words, if there was a strategy project that needed only one consultant, we’re all similar enough that we’d end up having to compete with one another to get it.

But because this particular project needed three people to finish the job, we’re collaborators, not competitors. In fact, the project could not have been sold in the first place if my friend had proposed he do everything himself.

Depending on your profession, maintaining a network of competitors can be a smart thing. Sometimes a project is just too big for one person, or you need different skills. Other times you may be too busy to take on additional work, so being able to make a referral still allows you to help your prospect. And it can work both ways where overflow work from another consultant could spill over to you.

If you approach networking with an abundance mentality, there will always be plenty of opportunities to go around.

Even the Privileged Need to Network

The bigger your goals in life, the more you’ll need the help of other people to reach them. You can’t do it alone.

As Beth Polish noted in her blog, the late Benazir Bhutto realized the importance of networking early and practiced it often despite belonging to a family already well connected. She may have had a head start with building a base of influential contacts, but she pushed herself to do even more. She understood the importance of relationships. Read more in the DROOM (Don’t Run Out of Money) with Beth Polish blog.

You may not dream of becoming a world leader, but whatever your aspirations for yourself, your business, or your family, engaging the help of others for advice, support, resources, and information, and keeping in touch even when you don’t need anything, will help you achieve them more readily.

Money, wealth and privilege can only get you so far. Relationships can help take you the rest of the way.

Is the Grass Always Greener When It Comes to Business Networking?

Continuing my previous post Are Women Better at Networking Than Men, But We Just Don't Know It?, it seems that a percentage of both genders think the other side has it easier, according to a Discover Financial Services survey.

One thousand small business owners were asked for their thoughts on which gender had the upper hand in launching a business, attracting clients, and networking:

"39 percent of male business owners think it is easier for women to start businesses, while 34 percent think it is easier for men. Conversely, 20 percent of female small business owners think it is easier of men to start businesses, compared to 15 percent who think women have it easier.

30 percent of men think it is easier for women to attract new business and only 16 percent think it is easier for men. Among women, 39 percent think it is easier for men to attract new clients while only 19 percent think women have the edge.

24 percent of men believe it is easier for women to network, while 15 percent of men think they have it easier. On the female side, 12 percent of women say men have it easier, while only 8 percent think women have it easier. Overall, two-thirds of all respondents think both sides are about the same when it comes to networking."

Go here to read the rest of the press release.

In the end, the majority of people didn't think gender had anything to do with success in networking, and I'm relieved. In my experience, no one really has a built-in advantage or a built-in disadvantage with networking. Everyone can learn to do it well regardless of gender or personality type.

I'm an introvert, and may network differently from my extroverted colleagues, but I'm still able to get out there and get the help I need. Don't let stereotypes hold you back either.