Are Women Better at Networking Than Men, But We Just Don’t Know It?

Over Thanksgiving, when I told my sister-in-law, who retired a few years ago from the U.S. Air Force as a colonel, that I was writing a book on networking, she remarked that it’ll be great to have a woman’s perspective on networking out there, since we’re so much better at it than men.

That surprised me.  Maybe to be successful as a woman in the military, you need to have great networking skills.  Yet I speak at a lot of professional women’s conferences and to a good number of women’s professional organizations and one of the comments I hear the most is, “My male colleagues seem to network so naturally, but I find it such an effort.”

While my book isn’t about gender differences in networking, she did make me wonder:  Are women better at networking?  And if they are, why don’t they think so?

In InformationWeek’s CIO Weblog written by John Soat, Susan Mersereau, svp and CIO at Weyerhaeuser Co. says that women “don’t do the informal networking they need to get ahead. ‘They just keep their noses down and don’t market themselves.’” 

She continues: “It’s ironic that women are poor at networking in the workplace because they’re usually very good at it outside work…Also, women go overboard on self sufficiency.”

Carmen Munson in the Ithaca Journal says, “Women tend to more relational and are particularly skilled in connecting with others.  This advantage stems partly from our long traditions as gatherers, mothers and caretakers.”

So women may be better at networking outside the workplace because they are networking on someone else’s behalf – for their child, their husband, their friends – rather than for their own needs, though hopefully that is starting to change.

Carol Hymowitz writes in the Wall Street Journal that a women’s network is beginning to emerge in the corporate world, with more and more female executives proactively helping other women succeed through informal networking and mentoring.

I don’t want to start a battle of the sexes, and I hate generalizations that people then use as an excuse for their actions (or inactions), but I AM curious… What do you think? 

Comments

[Jason Jacobsohn]

I think that you have to take it case by case with each person. I know both women and men who are excellent networkers. I would say that in general, as mentioned in your post, that women are good connectors. They are good at talking with people and getting referrals for their personal life. Not all men are good at making small talk. Unfortunately, some are only in it for themselves and don't have the patience to build the relationship. Women are great at building relationships for the long term by keeping in touch with people.